So I'm hosting a cheesy luau this weekend. Dollar Tree had a ton of luau party supplies and I thought, "why not?". Everyone is wearing festive gear, there are leis with shot glasses attached, the place will be decorated with hula girls and palm trees and the menu reflects the theme. Fun, right? Well, today I got an email advising me that one of the invitees (not in my circle of friends but is connected to us through some of the people at the party) is bringing his beer pong table. Beer pong. Let me point out that I'm 35 and everyone attending is over 30 (including the jackass bringing the beer pong table).

Jesus F'ing Christ, at 35 should I really have to email people the day before my party to ask them not to bring their beer pong table to my luau? Last time I checked there were no greek letters outside my apartment door.

SOAMFB!!!!